


Making Meaning

by avislightwing



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Amnesty Arc, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Families of Choice, Fate & Destiny, Gen, Grief/Mourning, LET ME TELL YOU, WELL I say, Wordplay, why is it called taz amnesty? you ask
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 20:13:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19116895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avislightwing/pseuds/avislightwing
Summary: Home means different things for everyone, but none more so than Ned Chicane.





	Making Meaning

**Author's Note:**

> definitions taken from dictionary.com. tears taken from me. it’s been a week so apparently it was time for more of both

**amnesty** , n.

  1. a general pardon for offenses, especially political offenses, against a government, often granted before any trial or conviction.
  2. Law. an act of forgiveness for past offenses, especially to a class of persons as a whole.
  3. a forgetting or overlooking of any past offense.



 *

_What is it called when you’re thrown out of your home?_

 *

To Barclay, it was called  _desperation_.

It was Dani leaning against one shoulder and Jake leaning on the other, and Indrid huddled into a too-thin coat, and Moira asking where they were going, and not knowing what to tell her.

It was feeling like he couldn’t breathe quite right in an unfamiliar form, and knowing the others felt the same way. It was knowing that if any of them died, they would be gone, away from Sylvane’s light. It was wondering if he’d ever see his family again, and knowing Dani would never see her brother, and Jake would never see his sister.

It was stumbling from the archway through the snowy forest, barely able to keep his feet, and then seeing firelight, and taking a chance. It was stumbling into a lobby and dripping all over the carpet, and Jake and Dani throwing themselves into comfortable chairs, and Moira drifting over to the piano, and Indrid holding a newspaper an inch from his face to read it, and Barclay trying to explain they’d come a long way, and please, could they stay for a while?

It was a sympathetic smile on a human’s face and a nod, and a wash of relief and exhaustion as he realized they weren’t all going to die out there in the snow, even as he knew they would never be able to go back.

 *

_What is it called when you leave your home?_

 *

To Aubrey, it was called  _grief_.

It was buying a new backpack and a new deck of cards and hanging up the black dress she’d worn to the funeral in a hotel closet. It was coaxing Dr. Harris Bonkers into his carrier and petting his head. It was turning to see her dad in the doorway and not having to explain.

It was his arms around her and her tears on his shirt and his tears in her hair and a request, whispered, to call him sometimes, because he didn’t want to lose her too.

It was the knowledge that she wouldn’t call him, that she was making a promise she wasn’t going to keep.

It was walking to the bus stop and buying a ticket and there not being anyone to wave at through the windows, and imprints on her fingers from clutching her bag and Dr. Bonkers’ carrier.

It was the bus starting and feeling like she was abandoning something that didn’t exist anymore, that was dead and burned with her house and her mom.

 *

_What is it called when you choose not to defend your home?_

_*_

To Duck, it was called  _survival_.

It was thinking about soup and sisters and life and turning down a destiny, because he knew it would kill him, eventually, as deeply as he knew the Monongahela around the high school in Kepler. It was shoving Beacon into the furthest corner of a cabinet and the furthest corner of his mind and applying for a training program with the Park Service.

It was turning away Minerva every time she showed up until she stopped showing up. It was building model ships, and learning the name of everyone in his apartment complex and then in town, and reading books about bears and birds and learning to tell the difference between a sugar maple and an American beech. It was sitting in comfortable silence with Juno and laughing loudly with Ned and knowing that he made the right choice and knowing that he made the selfish choice.

It was wondering if Minerva was all right.

It was wondering if he’d ever see Minerva again.

It was wondering whether it was all a dream.

 *

_What is it called when you provide a way for someone to return to their home?_

_What is it called when you provide a way out, a way back, a way up?_

_What is it called when you sacrifice your life for your home?_

_*_

To Ned, it was called  _friendship_.

It was Dani making excuses about avoiding the woods near the arch.

It was Barclay pressing a cup of tea into his hands (Arnold Palmer, heavy on the lemonade, just how he liked it).

It was Jake walking in and brushing the snow out of his hair and half-turning like he expected there to be more people around him.

It was Indrid shooing them out the door and counting down the seconds.

It was Mama moving stacks of books off chairs and to make room for him.

It was Duck running into a general store for Leo before the phone had even hung up.

It was Aubrey staring into the fire until her eyes shone orange with the reflection.

 

It was finally knowing the meaning of  _home_ , and knowing he was the only one who’d never lost one, because he was the only one who’d never had one, until now.

 

It was Aubrey sitting with Dani, Dr. Harris Bonkers draped over her lap, laughing. It was Duck, showing his latest model ship to Mama and Barclay. It was everyone in the Lodge, warm and safe and happy.

 

It was a criminal giving them something he knew he could never earn for himself.

 

To Ned it was called –

 *

 **amnesty** , v.

  1. grant amnesty to; pardon.




End file.
